The answers to my questions about my Christian faith and yoga have come slowly (and there are still some I haven't found). Mostly, it has been a case of living with the questions, continuing to practice and to pray and talking to some wise friends.
For example, after I'd been doing yoga for about six months I went to visit a friend of mine who is also a priest and also practices yoga. I wanted to see what she had to say about this 'dual approach'.
I told her that I was concerned that practising yoga would cause me to lose my Christian faith, and that I would be letting God down by exploring yoga. Her response came in the form of a question that has stuck with me ever since. She said: Do you really think that Jesus would let you go just because you practice yoga?
After a few moments' thought I replied that, no, I didn't think he would ever do that. I felt that the Jesus I knew and loved would know that I wasn't trying to replace him - more that I was trying to grow closer to him in a new way.
And I keep coming back that question whenever I begin to doubt my love for Jesus: Do I think that he would abandon me because I follow the way of yoga too? Not in a million years.
But to hold on to that takes courage. Because it means moving away from an old way of believing (i.e. not having the courage to find my own way of following Jesus) and moving towards a new way which comes from the heart. And it means, for me at least, trusting Jesus more than I did before so that I can be the person I am now in his presence.
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